Archive for November, 2008

Things That Make You Go “Hmmmm.”

Friday, November 21st, 2008
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Kyle was having a hard time with a castle. His pirate had fallen into one of the bastions (a full circle, not the typical half-circle), and he couldn’t get it out. His hand kept getting stuck. He asked me to help.

“Turn it upside down,” I responded.

He picked up the castle, which was a bit heavy for him, flipped it, and shook it. Out fell the pirate. He smiled. “Mommy, you have great ideas!” Gravity must be taught, I suppose.
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Talon and Kendall have been practicing rolling and are attempting to crawl. Talon rolled back to front one morning. I found her in the crib, belly down. I didn’t put her like that nor did Dad. Kendall was found belly down in the crib by Dad later that afternoon. That was a few Fridays ago… October 24. Lately, we’ve been putting down blankets and setting the babies on the floor with toys just out of arm’s reach.
Kendall is controlling herself a little better than Talon in the sitting up competition. Actually, a lot better. She’s kicking Talon’s ass. She doesn’t sit up unassisted just yet, but she can balance herself for a second or two before leaning forward. Then she’ll be like that for several seconds before falling to her side – which never happens because we have terrazo floor and must be VERY careful to avoid babies’ hitting their heads on it. Talon just doesn’t get the whole sitting up thing. At all. She’s still like a bag of water.

But she’s winning in the eating competition and the complaining competition and in the waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night competition. Yes, it’s all a competition with these twins. But, hey, no pressure. Talon, by our hypothesis, is younger than Kendall. Not by a mere 68 minutes but by a few weeks, gestation-wise. “Are they twins?” “No, they are just born on the same day.”
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Our washing machine broke down. The switch that sets the agitator when the lid is closed has failed – again. The last time that happened, I spent twenty minutes shaking the whole appliance, jiggling the wire that connects to the switch until it finally started. That’s how we fixed electronic equipment in the Army. Shake it ’til it works. Unless it has obvious water damage or fried-black components.

I’ve been washing clothes by hand – diapers, too – in a five gallon bucket with a plunger. Agitating. Agitating. Agitating. It’s starting to agitate my nerves. But the clothes comes out clean, and my triceps get a much needed workout. After wringing them by hand, I hang them to drip dry on the solar drying array. That does most of the drying on sunny days. But even on sunny days the sun is so far south that the Royal Poinciana in the southwest corner of the yard spreads its shade across the hanging laundry before 2pm. So I put them in the drier. I know, it’s not very “green,” but we don’t have enough diapers not to be washing everyday. They need to be ready to wear before the sitters get here.

The solution to this is an old-fashioned wringer.

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My brother Joe and his wife had their first child on November 14th. Their baby boy was born at 1:12am and shares a birthday with Ty. They are exactly six years apart. My favorite cousin was born the day after my sixth birthday.

Happy Birthday

Friday, November 14th, 2008
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Dear Birthday Boy,

It was six years ago, a Thursday, that the skies were cloudy, grey, and the air was cool, crisp, like Christmas. I wore one of Dad’s long sleeved tie-dyes to the hospital, not sure which one because he has two dozen. We didn’t know your gender. We had some names picked out. We were excited about our first baby. Twelve and a half hours later, we beheld you. Blue skin, blue face, blue mouth. Screaming as if someone had pissed you off.

This morning, you woke up before we did. You and Kyle started a conversation that was loud enough to tell you two to “SHhh!” You had a good day of adventures and surpsrises. Dad and I got you birthday cards. You received an analog wrist watch that you had to put on immediately. The babies were asleep most of the morning, so you got to play outside in the muggy, hot air with Kyle and Taylor instead of babysitting while I washed diapers.

When Daddy got home, he took the three of you out to take a look at the race cars that are in town. You came home wearing hats from the race team’s sponsor. You watched “Peep and the Big Wide World,” and ate cake for lunch. In fact, you decorated your own cake. It was supposed to be a dinosaur cake, but you didn’t bring me any dinosaurs. There was a donkey, a kangaroo, a pig, and… okay, there was one ankylosaur. You opened up your remaining gifts which were a Lightning McQueen wall clock (you really like to tell time) and a building set toy thing … You made a car out of it with Daddy’s help.

Just this evening, we sat around Daddy’s computer and watched the space shuttle Endeavor launch. A few seconds afterward, we were all outside watching the darn thing in the sky, right between two houses across the street! Bright orange flames from the rocket boosters, it was spectacular. You were excited to see it. Taylor got so excited that she ran too fast down the driveway and fell.

So Happy Birthday, Ty. Tomorrow, we are hosting a get-together, and you’ll see your friends and get to eat cake again. I’d like to add that you didn’t do any homeschooling today.

Love,

Mom

But I Love My Dog? Why Can’t I Marry My Dog?

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
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I’m happy to see that the amendment to define marriage [between a man and a woman] in our state had passed. In my peacenick, hunky dory, liberal youth, I thought, What’s the harm in letting two people who love each other get married? But that leads to What’s the harm in letting first cousins get married? Brothers and sisters? Sisters and sisters? A man and his horse? A woman and her television? I know! It gets ridiculous!! Besides, marriage is the foundation of the natural family. You can’t call yourself a Christian or Jew or Muslim and believe that two people of the same sex can be married. God made Adam and Eve. And Adam and Eve made babies. Religion aside, like a male tiger and a female tiger make tiger cubs, Two men can’t make babies. Two women can’t make babies.

Historically, marriage is an institution that begins a family. Marriage is older than any of today’s religions. Marriage is as old as the Law of Man. Marriage, in its own constitution, is about Family. Not about Love.
Two men can love each other. That’s a little crazy, I think. But possible. If they want to live together, that’s possible. If they want to be on each others wills, then they can do that through other avenues and laws. If they want to visit each other in the hospital, they can grant each other power of attorney. If they want to rear children, sorry, they can’t have that right. Children are not property. Every baby deserves a mother and a father. That’s what marriage is all about!!

Now that the amendment passed, we will have to decide what defines a man and a woman. A man who goes through surgery to superficially change his gender (because he will never have ovaries or lactating mammary glands) and goes through the courts to change his name is not a woman. Yea, here we go again.

Election Day 2008

Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
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Dad and I watched the Democratic presidential nominee’s informercial on Wednesday night (10/29). We both chuckled hard (actually, we were in hysterics for at least a minute) when we saw the image of Democratic presidential nominee’s standing in an office that looked very much like the Oval Office with darkened walls and furniture. It’s amusing that he likes to believe that he’s the president. Well, after that, we were bombarded with stories of families who can’t afford a gallon of milk and old couples on Medicaid who have to work at Wal*Mart after retirement. It was depressing. The Democratic presidential nominee showed us that we are a country of losers. Really depressing. We can’t put gas in our cars. We can’t pay our mortgages. We can’t put food on the table. But the Democratic presidential nominee also gave us hope. He’s going to be like Robin Hood: Steal from the rich and give to the poor. The Democratic presidential nominee will do it in the form of taxes, so it won’t really be stealing. It’ll be a legal confiscation of funds, making him more like Prince John than Robin Hood. If you don’t pay your taxes, you’re a criminal. If you don’t vote for the Democratic presidential nominee, you’re a racist.
Today, we woke up at 5:30am. At least I did. I started waking up the boys, but they didn’t stir. Dad woke up. I started the coffee. I woke up the boys again. I changed the babies’ diapers but didn’t feed them because they both nursed about an hour earlier. Brushed Kyle’s dreadlocks out of his hair while nudging Taylor with my foot. Changed Taylor’s diaper and changed her clothes. Ty made toast, prepared my coffee, and shined Dad’s boots. I’m only kidding. haha! He did make toast, though. We were locked and loaded in the van at 6:41am.

We drove to our polling place and were surprised to see a fairly empty parking lot. We stood in line, maybe the 70th and 71st ones in line. I had a baby in the sling and a baby in the stroller (switched them around often, depending on which one was hungry). There was a dad with his two girls, a little older than Ty, who looked like he wasn’t used to waiting in long lines with them – not that we often wait in long lines with the children. He had a box of distractions. Literally. He had a box with paper, crayons, and coloring books. Ty and Kyle sat on the ground twice during our wait, drank water from our canteen, and read a Berenstain Bears book. Taylor was the one who was acting up – just a tad. Enough to get her doll taken from her. The dad with the two girls offered us paper, but we said that we didn’t need any. “We are practicing patience,” explained Dad. It helps to be around the children 24/7 instead of this only-on-weeknights-and-weekends kind of parenting that seems to be the trend.

Voting was a breeze. We were out of there by 8:15am. But Dad and I did notice that two of the poll workers were wearing some Black History shirts. Why is that so wrong? Because political displays are not allowed within 200 feet of the polling place. These Black History shirts (with portraits of MLK, Malcolm X, Frederick Douglass, George Washington Carver, to name a few) were proxies for the Democratic presidential nominee shirts that the Democratic presidential nominee has been selling at his rallies. We as tax payers should provide these poll workers with a uniform. A blue, green, or turquoise shirt, something easy to spot. What’s this monkey business with Black History? C’mon. Imagine if we walked in there wearing shirts with images of Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Cornelius Vanderbilt, and Andrew Carnegie. We’d be asked to leave the premises. We would not be allowed to vote. There would definitely not be any allowance for a white poll worker to show up wearing a White History shirt. By the way, there should be a month designated for dead white people and not just Presidents. Oh, am I racist? Voting for the Democratic presidential nominee just because he’s black (or half-black) is racist. Voting for John McCain because he loves America is American.
We stopped by the grocery store to pick up doughnuts and chocolate milk for our Election Day breakfast, which isn’t technically “break fast” because we had toast earlier. So now we’re enjoying the rest of the morning, watching Dad save Princess Zelda, reminding Kyle to pronounce his fricatives, and mainly recuperating from waking up way too early. I have to work later.