the sleppys

Today was a great day. One of the best days we’ve have in a really long time. The kids were a little late in their morning routines, but “Little Einsteins” comes on twice on the weekends, so they caught the last half-hour show. Dad got ready to go to work – turned out that one person cancelled and another didn’t show up, but he and his business partner got a lot of paperwork and little tasks done, so it evens out, I suppose.

Well, the kids and I went to the library. We went for storytime. Afterward, they saw an old Disney “Silly Symphonies” movie titled “The Flying Mouse.” The mouse wishes he could fly, attempts to fly, saves a butterfly who is actually a fairy, gets his wish, realizes that his new bat-like wings are scaring his family and are a magnet for real bats, regrets his wish, butterfly/fairy revokes his wish, goes back to being a wingless mouse, the end. (Sort of off topic: Ty has been reading up a storm lately. He sits at the dining room table and reads the “Reader 1″ books that we borrowed from the library. Each book has a theme and a letter sound that is practiced by the reader. Three-letter words and an occasional five-letter word make the book easy to memorize – for parents who are washing dishes while the boy reads the book aloud. He has already read, with help, four books: The short “o” and “u,” “h” and “s.”).

We came home to watch “The Magic Schoolbus ‘For Lunch.’” Twice. The kids fell asleep, and Dad and I played chess. We each won a match (I won on a technicality) and thought that the avocado that was purchased today was not ripe enough to make guacamole. It’ll be better tomorrow anyway.

I really liked that we got to hang out together, in the house – not tucked away in our room or in the office – in the peace and quiet. It was like being on a date (then Taylor woke up toward the end from a nap). We haven’t had a date in months, and before that, it was a year.

The boys woke up. We took our afternoon stroll in the neighborhood later than usual. I made them a quick dinner, and we ate pretty peacefully. Had dessert. Played with some jigsaw puzzles in the bedroom for almost an hour. Dad went to bed at about 9:30, and we stayed up to watch Great Balls of Fire. That Jerry Lee Lewis sure can play the pian-a. It’s past 11, and I’m falling asleep as I type.

I think the kids may be affected by the time change differently than the adults around here.

Overall, it was a nice day, not too hot, a little cloudy, rained some, read books, played games – oh yea! I started teaching Ty play chess. He was more interested in making his pieces behave like a real horse and a real king, et cetera, but it looks like he understood how to set up a chessboard. We’ll just have to practice. So we had a lot of educational and bonding activities today. I enjoyed it very much.

AND we played with homemade play dough – made with real flour, water, and food coloring. Golly gee, what a busy day – but so relaxing! *ahhhh* Of course, no housework got done, but WHO CARES!! Life is for living, not cleaning.

After a morning of doing basically nothing and a little housecleaning, the kids and I got ready to go to the mall. We would normally go to the playground, as I’ve mentioned before, but it gets really hot in South Florida around the summer time – duh. So we hung out at the play area where some of the girls there were enamored with Taylor. Their moms kept telling them, “Go play with the other girls,” (my boys are mistaken for girls because of their long hair). One little girl had snot running down into her lip. I kept pulling her away from Taylor and telling her to go to her mom to get her face and hands cleaned. I looked up to get her mom’s attention, but Mom was busy talking and ignoring her daughter. I wanted to pick the girl and take her to her mom, but you can’t do that in this town because people will mistake that for either a kidnapping attempt or, worse, your telling them how to rear their own child. The saddest part was when the mom wanted to leave, told the little girl to get her shoes on, but the girl didn’t listen. So, well, that would frustrate any parent, I understand. Then the mom grabbed the girl’s shoes, tried to get the girl to walk with her, but the girl wanted to sit. So the mom ended up carrying the girl by ONE arm. Unless my kids are in danger of being run over by a car and I have a kid in my other arm, I never carry kids by one arm. That’s just rude. And the poor girl also let out a cry. I thought the mom would stop, but she continued dragging the child a few more steps, until I interfered with my Army voice, “Excuse me!”
“Eh?” She had such an innocent look on her face.
“You’re not allowed to do that in this country.”
“Eh?”
“I see you doing that again, I’ll be forced to notify the authorities.”

Thank heavens for body language and tone of voice. For some who didn’t understand English, she sure got the message loud and clear.

We sat down at the food court for a raisin and Cheerios snack. I didn’t pack the kids’ bowls, so I went to the Subway and asked for a couple of their disposable bowls. The lady was about to give them to me, but her manager started mumbling something…
Mumble mumble mumble mumble. They looked up at me. I’m like, “Yea?”
“Rocoto moroto panales tutanes,” said the manager lady to me.
“And in English, that means…?”
“We hab to pay you por de plates de soup.”
I laughed out loud. I mean, I didn’t mean to, but it was just so funny! “You mean, you have to charge me for the bowls of soup… yes?”
She nodded.
“You’re never going to prosper without learning English.”

The boys napped in the car, and we got to my piano lesson just a little bit late – I thought they could use a few more napping minutes. They were introduced to Mrs. Milian and her three kids, a girl and two younger boys. Kyle sucked his thumb and was shy the first half-hour, but he slowly got acquainted and decided that it’s more fun to play than to sulk. Ty was having trouble with the Lincoln Logs, with which he had never played before. The nanny came in with take-out, whole, organic grains and vegetables. yum! All the kids ate and made a mess, a grainy mess of rice all over the floor, but the family was in the process of moving, so there was no furniture to have to move around or rugs to vaccuum to get the rice picked up.

Mrs. Milian’s two older kids got their piano lessons in, which was pretty amazing due to all the noise that was going on, but the kids paid good attention. Ty and Kyle hung out with the youngest boy, who will turn five in November. Ty turns four in November, so they hit it off well. The oldest, a girl, played with Taylor. It was over-all a fun time. We got home a little later than expected, but that was because the kids (and adults) were having such a blast.

The boys had dinner and dessert, brushed their teeth, and cleaned up their room for bedtime. Ty read half of his book, then started acting tired. Kyle played with his new sloth that his new friends gave him, and Ty couldn’t go to sleep without his dolphin that was also given to him by his new friends. Taylor nursed to sleep, and the boys didn’t stop stepping out of their room (“I’m thirsty. I need to pee.”) until well past 10. I read an American history textbook. Dad watched TV. Ty woke up in a cry, saying that he was cold, at 11pm. I was falling asleep, and his cry woke me up. After that, I fell asleep. Totally zonked.
At 3am, Kyle woke up crying. He likes to walk into the living room and finish sleeping on the couch. So I let him. At 6am, Taylor woke up to eat. And I stayed awake…
And at 7am, the whole thing started all over again.

At least we take breaks from 10-noon, then it’s non-stop until 10am again.

For the last few days, I’ve given Ty just a few seconds to make up his mind, and if it hasn’t been made up, I make it up for him. Then he starts on a tantrum, but telling him to be quiet and not cry seems to work. “Get over it,” is the prase I use.

I’ve also kept (or attempted to keep) the screaming to a minimum. I allow myself only two yells – which are top of my lung explosions – a day, which may seem two too many for some, but it’s far fewer than the norm around here.

*******

We got up at regular time and went to the library after doing some cleaning and playing. Ty borrowed an American history book and two early reading books (the short “O” and “U”). I read aloud while pointing to the words, giving him enough time to see the word and repeat it. Ty is pretty good and focused when he’s doing homeschooling. Kyle played with Taylor for the few minutes that it took us to read the short “U” sound book, then he went off to the picture book section and play with the toy there. It’s one of those gigantic roller coaster looking things with different colored beads and whatnot. Kids fight over it all the time. I’ve been telling Ty that the library is for reading books and not for playing in. He listens. He follows me toward the nonfiction books, which is on the opposite side of the children’s section, and selects two books to read. Kyle wanders to the picture books and plays with that toy. When Kyle is older, I’ll expect him to take two nonfiction books to read, too. So Ty follows me and puts his things down on the table next to my things and begins to read his books. When he’s done, he goes to the picture books to play with Kyle. Sometimes, I see moms and kids playing there, not reading books but just kind of hanging out.

We went to the mall so the kids could play. Ty likes running around. He’s got pretty good endurance. He likes to “Tag, you’re it!” anyone and everyone. Kyle got the wind knocked out of him pretty good. He was turning a corner (the rear end of a dinosaur) and ran into a girl who was turning the same corner. She was about 10 lbs. bigger and ran faster, so Kyle was knocked over. This happened in front of me, so I knew it was innocent. But the girl was called by her mom and was put in time-out. Kyle got the “One two three four five. Stay alert. Stay alive,” treatment from me, then proceeded to strut up to the girl and yell, “There’s no hitting, Girl!”

Taylor got inspired to crawl up a step and through a tunnel. It was a pretty high step, and it wasn’t even a smooth crawl. The play area has a dinosaur theme, where a cartoonish triceratop and tyrannosaur are both napping on opposite sides – in between, there are two flower pads and two tunnels, where Kyle likes to lay inside and suck his thumb. The tunnels are both four feet long and elevated on some tree-root looking things, which are about a foot tall. Taylor was looking like she’d like to climb into the tunnel, seeing that her brothers and the other kids are doing it, too. I went around the other side so that she could see me through the tunnel, and she started crawling. It took her a minute or two to get up. She almost gave up one time, but I told her not to. Keep doing it. Once she got inside the tunnel, it was smooth sailing.

We had lunch at the food court – I took apple butter and pita sandwiches. Speaking of which, I have to make bread RIGHT NOW!! Kyle ate about forty animal crackers while Taylor ate only two and then nursed. Ty ate his raisins and sandwiches and drank loads of water (he ran about two miles, I would say, in the play area). We went to the bathroom (the public bathroom, that’s spanish for “dirty”) and changed diapers after wiping everything down alcohol. The kids were told to keep their hands in the pockets, and after three or four times of getting their hands wiped with sanitizer, they got the message, “Keep hands in pockets.”

To MMW for a paycheck, yes, folks, I have a job, which was thankfully bigger then I thought it would be. Then to the bank, which we walked over to… that’s why this adventure took ALL DAY. gotta get the bread going. BACK to the car. To Publix. Ran into one of the ladies whom we saw in the play area of the mall. I think I’ll go to that Publix from now on. People live richly there.

Home. Started dinner. Some walking training with Isis. Wheeled the boys back and forth in the Radio Flyer wagon (can’t wait till they can ride bikes) and had sprint races with the kids across the yard. There was a little white kid who was playing with them. His parents were sitting, drinking coffee or whatever, across the street, watching. I would, too.

Had dinner. Tired as heck. Built a tower with the Mega-Bloks with Ty. Kyle played with cars and who knows what Taylor was doing. gotta get the bread going!!! Nursed Taylor about eleven times before putting her down. She cried some but fell asleep shortly. The boys continued playing, but after Dad walked in and demonstrated his male-booming voice, they quickly went to sleep.

It pays to have a man around.

Ty has OCD in the worst of ways – if that’s possible. It took him nearly 30 minutes to get his cars into the bin so that we could go home from visiting the Rodrigues’. And since we were visitors and in front of other people, I couldn’t lose my cool like I normally would. I couldn’t shove all his cars into the bin myself. He started when Taylor spilled water onto his playspace. What is water doing around his cars anyway?? He screamed at her and flung his fists at her. I thought he may be tired, so I told him to start cleaning up. He threw the worst tantrum I have ever seen. EVER. FROM ANYONE! I felt like pulling my hair out. I knelt beside him and and showed him how to put the cars into his bin. They weren’t even his own cars; they belonged to Mrs. Rodrigues’ sons, and he was borrowing them while we visited. Thirty minutes -of being nice to him and calming him down and keeping Taylor and Kyle away from his work- started to feel like hours.

He’s the sweetest boy. But anything, any little thing can make him 180, and he becomes Mister Hyde.

I’ve threatened him jokingly that he’d be sent to school if he didn’t stop his insanty. Everything has to be about Ty. What does Ty want to watch? When does Ty want to get out of the shower? What does Ty want to do first? I feel like I’m ignoring my other kids because Ty takes up so much time, energy, and attention. I especially feel like I’m ignoring Kyle. Taylor gets attention because she still nurses. And she gets special attention because I take her to work with me. But what about Kyle? No wonder middle child syndrome exists.

I’ve often had to remind myself not to give in to Ty’s obsessive behavior. Last night, when I came home from work, I didn’t let him answer the door. He begged me, “Let me do it!” But I explained to him that I couldn’t give in, that I love him too much to allow him to become full-blown OCD. How do you ritard or arrest the development of such a debilitating disease? Not that he’s been diagnosed with it – but I’m convinced that a stranger would label him as such.

He makes me effing crazy. I feel like crying myself to sleep after each evening, trying to get him to brush his teeth without some effing stupid OCD episode of, “*I* have to go first,” and, “No, THIS way!!” He’s even gone so far as to yell at me to go to MY room. “Obey Ty!!”

Please do not apologize for your remarks. What you said was the truth.

Sincerely,
Mom

Doing nothing is a lot like doing something, especially when it’s tiring. Maybe you don’t know what I mean. Yesterday, we took the day off from doing anything. I decided to clean house. I made a list of chores and was really amped to get things done. Then Ty needed his hair brushed. Kyle wanted to play with Taylor. Taylor has been eating more solids (breads, mainly), so her diaper was insanely nasty – as opposed to the nice, gooey, rice-smelling breastmilk poop. They boys couldn’t decide what movie to watch. The bread needed to start being made. The dog came back inside with muddy paws. Nobody wanted to color or do any homeschooling work.

Of the twenty things I had to do, I only dusted the light diffuser in the living room. And that took twenty seconds! *forehead slap*

Dad came home later than he said he would, and he was in a pissy mood. “Waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting all day long. I’m tired.” Okay. So we left the house so that he could recuperate and headed to Publix to buy disposies for Kyle. There’s a Tae Kwon Do institute in that strip mall, and I’m always encouraging Ty to get into the martial art. As we passed it while on our way to the grocery store, I pointed to some big kids in their smart uniforms and to some other kids spinning the bo around, which intimidated Ty some so he pretended to ignore them (but I could see his interest when his head turned to get a second look). Diapers were purchased. On our way back to the car, Kyle pointed to a flag that was hanging off of a bicycle.
“That’s the Cuban flag,” I informed him. Then some old dude approached the bike and put the flag in his hand, “Cuba?” he asked.
“Yea, Cuba.” I know my flags.
“Yes, Cuba good,” he said in broken English.
“Oh yea?” I hmph’d. “Sure, Castro is the man.”
“Yes, yes,” the man smiled. Maybe he didn’t know what I was talking about. People ought to learn English – even if they LOVE Cuba.
Off to the library… except we weren’t allowed in: It was closing. Then we went to the mall across the street. I was hoping that the running around in the play area of the mall would tire the boys. We got home at 7 pm, and I started dinner. This is later than usual, but yesterday was not a usual day. Needless to say, the boys were NOT tired – even though Ty was beet red from running 100+ laps and Kyle perfected his running stride in the play area. Yappa pa yappa pa yappa pa from the boys all through dinner.

I fell asleep on the couch at 9 pm, and the kids were still up. The boys went to sleep a little while later, and Taylor stayed up until 10:30 pm making noise with her maraca toy, which annoyed Dad. I nursed her twice to fall asleep. And Dad and I finally got to bed at 11 pm. I usually wake up at 6:30 am, but I ignored my alarm and got out of bed at 8 am. AT EIGHT!!! I better get something done today.

I’m going to take a picture of this lemon-garlic hummus I made. Dad gave me verbal instructions this morning on how to make this hummus. But giving me verbal instructions is a sure-fire way to get me to forget whatever it is you’re telling me. So he called just a few minutes ago and gave me instructions again.

Totally should take a picture. Extravagant. Very lemon-garlic-y.

If the International Astronomical Union decide to label Pluto a “dwarf planet”, that’s fine with me. They are the scientists with the doctorate-level educations. I’ll change my homeschooling curriculum so that we cover the three dwarf planets of the solar system. But. BUT. BUT!!! I really liked the name “Xena” for the planet formerly known as Planet X.
History was made. Xena and Gabrielle were so much cooler.

But after reading more on how planets were named and the traditions of space and mythology, I think I like Eris and Dysnomia. I’m glad that they finally decided on a name. Teaching the solar system to children is a difficult task when the planets have names like 2003 UB313, 2003 EL61 and whatnot.

I was folding the laundry in the living room this afternoon. I stepped into the kitchen to get Kyle a banana, and when I walked back to the living room, I saw that Ty’s underwear was gone.

He had put it away. =)

As a teacher, I want my students to learn as much as they can in a 45 minute lesson. As a former student, I know that my students aren’t going to practice dutifully everyday for 30 minutes. And as a parent, I could give a crap about my kids’ homework.

Homework is bad for kids’ health; haven’t you heard?

I’ve always (well, not ALWAYS, but since I’ve had my own kids) been pro-childhood, id est, making mud pies, climbing trees, practicing cartwheels in the rain, tasting dandelions, et cetera. Especially with the lower grade levels, homework, I feel should be kept at a minimum and, at best, avoided all together. And I’m not the only sociopath who believes such things. The Man of the House here believes it, too! funny haha. Seriously, Alfie Kohn has written a book on the subject (and other subjects including parenting and reward systems), and it makes a ton of sense. I don’t know what his credentials are – but Old Nick Copernicus didn’t have many credentials either.

But how can I expect my students to learn the piano when I don’t believe in homework? I know the solution: Kids need piano lessons twice a week. They have soccer practice twice a week, don’t they? They’re in school for 8 hours at a time, sitting around, waiting for Joey Snuffy to finish his addition paper, and standing in line at the water fountain. Then they get hours of homework. Well, no WONDER that they don’t have time to practice!! Between being shuffled from horseback riding to soccer to McDonald’s to CCD, who has time to play three notes??

I can’t expect kids to practice everyday. I can’t expect them to practice at all. I wish parents could focus on letting their kids be kids and stop pretending that they are little adults.